Apologies

When was the last time someone apologized to you? Did you accept the apology?

In America, people apologize occasionally, but excuses are often a part of the apology. People tend to put the blame on something or someone else. Even in the apology, responsibility is not taken for an action. As a result, forgiveness is not really granted and the air is not cleared.

When I first arrived I was surprised to hear people saying, “omasala tipis” which means “sorry for my sin.” People would apologize for things I hadn't even noticed they had done.

Now that I have been here for a few months I really appreciate the apologies. When people say they are sorry here, they mean it. There are no excuses, just a heartfelt apology for an action they did.

I am also learning to apologize. It wasn't until I arrived here that I realized saying I was sorry was not something I was altogether comfortable with. I'm slowly learning that it is much easier to say I'm sorry for something I did than to wonder if the person was offended by my actions. An apology is never offensive, so you can never go wrong by offering an apology. It also means that forgiveness is an important part of my life. People don't hold hard feelings against one another after an apology is accepted.

In America, people say you should forgive and forget, but often there is no apology. Americans seem to be uncomfortable with the idea of admitting they have made a mistake and telling someone else about that mistake. It means making yourself vulnerable and showing a weakness, something that goes against the values of being strong and independent. People expect apologies from others but often are not willing to admit that they themselves have also made mistakes.

Now imagine that every person always apologized for their mistakes because they knew it was the right thing to do. It clears their conscience and the air. It is such a simple and positive behavior.

I hope that when I return to America I can teach the art of apology to others. I just hope that people can also learn the art of forgiveness. Accepting an apology is just as important as making it. If a person cannot accept an apology, that is also a weakness. I encourage you to try it. Say your sorry for something you have done, big or small, and see what happens. Don't make excuses, just do it. I think you will feel better. The funny thing about offering an apology is that you may find you get one in return.

Welcome Party

I am currently sitting and listening to the high school students rehearse songs in preparation for the welcome party that will take place this afternoon. One of the seniors is playing piano, another is leading the songs, another organizing students, still others are bringing in tables, chairs, and desks. The remaining high school students are sitting on the floor, singing so loudly it is both exciting and a little painful on the ears. The singing is both nasal and chesty, creating a sound so intense I can't compare it to anything I have heard before. Perhaps it is a combination of South African and Bulgarian styles?

Earlier, students and staff swept the school grounds. Tables from my chemistry classroom were lowered over the balcony railing and brought into the main meeting building. The tables have been covered with table cloths and set up at the front of the room for the honored guests. Desks have been placed along one edge of the room for the male staff members.

The welcome celebration is in honor of the three Peace Corps staff members that will be visiting. I feel lucky that the community on my island cares so much. Yesterday and today were both half days of school to allow students to rehearse songs and for the staff to prepare food. I am looking forward to when the Peace Corps staff arrives so they can experience the appreciation, songs, speeches, and food that awaits them.